This topic has me doubting the goodness of humankind...is selflessness truly for the benefit of others or do people exhibit acts of selflessness simply because they enjoy the way it makes them feel? When I do something I view as selfless, like, delaying my master's degree until my children are older, am I really being selfless or am I just trying to avoid "mom guilt" (reward is not feeling guilty!). As I look at acts of service or goodness that I've done in my life, I am now questioning if I did those things becuase I was conditioned to do so, not because of some inherent goodness I have. Stimulus--be selfish? Response--don't be selfish because then I'll feel guilty. So, be selfless and don't feel guilty! Argh!! 

I guess it could also have something to do with the cost/benefit ratio as well. It's no big deal if I let my son have the last bit of ice cream, because I'm staying away from sugar because I'm trying to lose weight. My son may view this minor act as a huge kindness to him, when I'm actually doing it because I don't want to be fat! I'm getting something out of it too--low cost, high benefit to me. In contrast, what if I give my last $100 to my friend who can't feed her kids--high cost/low benefit to me. So does the giving of the money "count" for more than giving my son the last of the ice cream because of what I personally get or don't get out of it?