Women's Friendships, Feminist Theory and Aging View Digital Media

Paper Presentation in a Themed Session
Hedva Lewittes  

Friendships promote mental and physical health and are vital for older women who are more likely to be widowed and live alone. Feminist theorists Jean Baker Miller, bell hooks, Carol Gilligan and Nancy Chodorow provide insight into how friendships are sustaining and sustained through caring actions and dialogue. They emphasize that interdependence is undervalued in contemporary societies. Long-term relationships offer a sense of continuity and being known but are challenged by life events including finding suitable living arrangements, retirement, distance and illness. Community and proximate relationships become critical and for many and religious institutions are a of stable place to form and maintain bonds. At 77, I find that I have several lasting friendships, 60, 50, 40 years and counting and am involved in new ones. Drawing on my experience, I discuss how having groups of friends, building on interpersonal skills and knowledge learned through family and work and engaging in creative and political activities has helped me adapt to change and loss. Friendships, intertwined with identity, are essential to surviving and thriving. Phone calls, Zoom and messaging play a role. But recent writing on isolation in COVID's aftermath suggests that in-person contact is key. Addressing mobility and other physical limitations, transportation and economics, policies and community and cultural resources provide structure and facilitating social contexts. However, because friendships entail personal choice and pleasure, they touch our feelings of loneliness. Friendships strengthen our sense of agency; we can actively develop connections that meet our needs and nurture our spirits.