Learning Intention: To understand how to write effective narratives and persuasive narratives.

To get started, once you have created your blip on your profile page, create your avatar - go to your profile page and select the editing pencil in the top right corner of your avatar.

Your avatar is important as it communicates that you belong to our writing community. As in all online spaces, make sure that you do not use racist, sexist or violent images. This is one way you address internet safety too.

Your first comment......

In the comment box below, add any aspect/s of writing that you would like to work on through this project.

Learning Intention: To understand what makes a great opening to a narrative.

Success Criteria

• Find an opening to a short story or novel and post it.
• Read other students' comments.
• Comment on 1-2, explaining why it is a good opening.

Your opening sentence or paragraph is where you hook your readers by making them want to read on. The first paragraph/s are called the orientation. The orientation is where you introduce:

• your setting (time and/or place)
• the main character/s so you tell your reader to pay attention to this character/s right from the start.
• a tense/funny/unusual situation or problem. This might give a hint of your plot and make the reader curious to find out more. Don’t give away too much!

Here are some examples of great openings.

There is an unusual situation in the setting (alien world) in Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

The characters and a conflict are in the opening of The Lion and the Mouse by Aesop.

A Lion lay asleep in the forest, his great head resting on his paws. A timid little Mouse came upon him unexpectedly, and in her fright and haste to get away, ran across the Lion's nose. Roused from his nap, the Lion laid his huge paw angrily on the tiny creature to kill her.

The characters are introduced by saying what they are not in The Witches by Roald Dahl.

In fairy-tales, witches always wear silly black hats and black coats, and they ride on broomsticks. But this is not a fairy-tale. This is about REAL WITCHES.

The author hints at the characters (who are not innocent), setting (Neverland), and what will happen in the end in Tiger Lily by Jodi Lynn Anderson.

Let me tell you something straight off. This is a love story, but not like any you’ve heard. The boy and the girl are far from innocent. Dear lives are lost. And good doesn’t win. In some places, there is something ultimately good about endings. In Neverland, that is not the case.

The setting (London) and plot (a big flood that will cause problems) are introduced in Dodger by Terry Pratchet.

The rain poured down on London so hard that it seemed that it was dancing spray, every raindrop contending with its fellows for supremacy in the air and waiting to splash down. It was a deluge. 

Plot (a problem) and character (12 year old) are suggested in the opening of Kensuke’s Kingdom by Michael Morpurgo.

I disappeared on the night before my twelfth birthday. 

The setting (Silent Vale) and the plot (a journey with a hint of danger) are introduced in Obernewtyn by Isobelle Carmody.

Before first light we set out for the Silent Vale. It was a day's journey and we were led by a tall gangling boy called Eli, who carried a small sword and two hunt knives at his belt. These were the only visible reminders that our journey involved danger.

Setting, characters and plot (there is a hint of mystery too) are included in the opening of Motel Morning-Star by Liam Davison.

Angelo remembers this place. Even as his father turns the car into the forecourt of the Morning-Star Motel, he knows he's been here before. He can't say when: before his mother left, before the motel was built? He can't be sure. But he's been here before.

Comment: Now find an opening paragraph that you think is good. Check books you have on your bookshelf, books at school or look online. Add your paragraph to the comment box. If possible, try to explain what makes it good.

Then read other students' posts - they may give you some good ideas! Comment on 1-2 that you thought were good, explaining why. In this way, you are identifying what makes a good orientation. Start with @Name so the person knows you are commenting on their comment.

Learning Intention: To understand how an author/creator creates interest in a narrative through the complication/s, sequence of events and climax.

Success Criteria

• Identify the complications, sequence of events and the climax in an animated film and complete the retrieval chart.
• Submit the completed retrieval chart to "Shares with Admin" in Community (go to the pull down menu behind the avatar for our community)
• Add a link of a short story or animation to the Community discussion forum.
• Explain its complication/s, sequence of events and climax. 

Fig. 3: Narrative Structure

The purpose of narratives is very straightforward - it is to tell a story and to entertain and sometimes to teach readers a lesson. It can be fact or fiction, realistic or imaginative, and it can be an adventure, fairy tale, myth, legend science fiction, fantasy, comedy, mystery or tragedy. 

Once you have set the scene and introduced characters (and perhaps a hint of the story or plot) in your orientation, you can move on to the complication. 

Complication: The complication is something that causes a problem for the characters and/or disrupts normal life. There can be more than one complication.

Sequence of Events: The complication sets off a sequence of interesting events. These events happen in the story as the main characters attempt to solve the problem.

Climax: The climax is often the point of highest tension in the narrative. It creates a turning point that leads to the resolution.

To understand these terms better, watch Dustin by the Dustin Team. In the retrieval chart, the complications and climax have been added to the table. Complete the chart. What is the sequence of events.? What is the resolution? You might have to watch the video a couple of times!

Dustin Retrieval Chart

Comment: Find a short story or animation. Add its title, and copy and paste a link to the comment box. Then describe its complication/s, sequence of events and climax.  Read through students' comments and comment on 1-2, discussing anything that you found interesting.

Hi everyone

Great to see more have now joined our community. I have posted (insert number) updates so far and will post another this week. Remember these are optional but they will help you learn how to write good narratives. Even just reading what other students have written will help you. Also you can comment on their comments.

If you check your Notifications, you will see that you have received a "Work Request" to start your first writing project. Click on it and it will take you to Creator and to a new, blank work called “Untitled”. Go to About This Work/ Info to give the work a title (Do not start another new work).

Once you are in Creator, look around the Toolbar on the right. There is lots there to support you in About this Work. Open  Feedback and then open the rubric. The rubric is another tool to help you to learn how to write good narratives. Keep it open and refer to it as you write.

The first project is not due until (insert date). Do not submit your draft until close to that date. You may learn more from the updates that I post and want to make some changes to improve it. After (insert date), you will receive Feedback Requests to review 2 other students' works. You will also receive feedback and then you can use this to revise your own work for final submission on (insert date). Check the timeline in Creator/About this Work/Project/Timeline.

Scholar is a very different tool than anything you have used before. You can't do fancy headings or change font sizes. That's because Scholar is analysing your writing and creating data. Check your Analytics to monitor your progress.

Good luck with your writing project. I will be checking in often so you can message me. Also, if you have a question, post it in the Comment box below. Maybe someone in the Community is wondering the same thing so you will be helping them. Also, if you can answer someone's question, do so.

Learning Intention: To understand the effects of using three narrative techniques.

Success Criteria

• Find and post a short passage from a favourite novel.
• Identify the narrative technique/s.
• Comment on 1-2 other students' comments.

This update focuses on three narrative techniques:

• Description - Descriptive paragraphs include details that appeal to the senses: feelings, sight, taste, touch, smell, and hearing. Descriptive passages create the setting/s, advance the plot/story line and reveal character.

• Pacing - Narrative pacing is the rate at which a story moves. Generally, lots of description slows down the pace while action verbs can speed up the pace and create tension and excitement. Dialogue can also increase the narrative pacing.

• Dialogue - Dialogue is the exact words of the characters in a narrative. It can show character development through reactions to other characters and events.

A good narrative will have a balance of these three techniques. There are many other narrative techniques such as point of view, imagery and symbolism.

DESCRIPTION

Read the following excerpt from The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. It is the night before Katniss and Peta go into the arena. As you read it, identify what senses (feelings, sight, taste, touch, smell and hearing) are included. Also look for adjectives and note the simile "My room feels like a prison cell". 

The more anxious I am to find sleep, the more it eludes me. Finally, I am too restless to even stay in bed. I pace the floor, heart beating too fast, breathing too short. My room feels like a prison cell. If I don’t get air soon, I’m going to start to throw things again. I run down the hall to the door to the roof. It’s not only unlocked but ajar. Perhaps someone forgot to close it, but it doesn’t matter. The energy field enclosing the roof prevents any desperate form of escape. And I’m not looking to escape, only to fill my lungs with air. I want to see the sky and the moon on the last night that no one will be hunting me.

The roof is not lit at night, but as soon as my bare feel reach its tiled surface I see his silhouette, black against the lights that shine endlessly in the Capitol. There’s quite a commotion going on down in the streets, music and singing and car horns, none of which I could hear through the thick glass window panels in my room. I could slip away now, without him noticing me; he wouldn’t hear me over the din, But the night air’s so sweet, I can’t bear returning to that stuffy cage of a room. And what difference does it make? Whether we speak or not?

• What can you visualise from this description?
• What can you infer about the character of Katniss?

NARRATIVE PACING

Look at the following excerpt from The Life of Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe (abridged):

Early one morning, no less than five canoes each with four savages on board, landed on my side of the island, and not upon the beach where they traditionally performed their ghastly acts. As one of the canoes landed, I noticed one of them leap onto the beach and sprint in my direction, as if he were fleeing to safety. He must be an intended victim of the cannibals, I thought. He didn't see me hidden in the shrubbery, but as he got closer, I jumped out, shooting a number of the cannibals. The fleeing man fell to the ground, fearfully, just at my feet. Seeing several of their companions lying and dying on the beach with small wounds created by what was to them a mysterious big bang, the remaining savages fled to their boats and took to sea.

• This is a fast-moving paragraph. There are many short sentences. Also, look at the italicised words (verbs and participles) that suggest actions.  Add up how many actions there are in this paragraph.
• While the description in this paragraph is mainly through the actions and interesting verbs and participles, adjectives also add to the description. Identify some adjectives in the paragraph, e.g. “ghastly” in “ghastly acts”.
• Although the paragraph does not describe Robinson Crusoe, what are you able to infer about his character traits through his actions? In this way, you reveal character by "showing", not "telling" the reader directly.

 DIALOGUE

Dialogue is a narrative technique that reveals characters' motivations and their reactions to other characters and events; it can also increase the pace of the narrative, especially after long descriptive passages.

If you are not sure how to punctuate dialogue in a narrative, just check the dialogue in any novel. Work out where the speech/quotation marks go, and particularly the use of capital letters, commas and full stops. 

Fig. 5: Use a balance of narrative techniques to engage and interest your audience.

Comment: Find and post a short passage from a favourite novel. Then describe what narrative technique/s it demonstrates. Read through other students' comments and comment on 1-2 that you found interesting or learnt something.

Learning Intention: To understand how to write effective resolutions to your narrative.

Success Criteria:

• Watch a videoclip, focusing on the falling action and resolution.
• Find and post a videoclip or written text that illustrates an effective resolution.
• Comment on 1-2 comments of other students.

After the narrative climax, there is generally some falling action where the events of the story begin to come to a close. This is followed by the resolution where the problem or conflict is solved. It is also where you tie up any loose ends and give the reader a sense of what happens to the characters as a result of the conflict/problem.

Watch Jack, Jack Attack. It has an interesting structure in that the narrative starts with the falling action where Carrie is interviewed by Agent Dicker. This occurs before we view the climax where Jack Jack turns into a fireball. The resolution where Carrie's memory is erased gives us a sense that Carrie can return to her normal life. There are many different narrative structures such as:

• chronological order (orientation, complication, climax and resolution) 
• flashback (resolution, orientation, complication and climax)
• parallel structure (2 parallel stories and a combined resolution)
• circular (story ends where it begins)

Each book in the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling resolves the conflict that Harry faces. In the first book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (1997), Harry faces up to Voldemort who has taken over the body of Quirell. He is rescued by Professor Dumbledore in the climax of the novel. This is followed by the falling action where Harry recovers in hospital and the characters return to normal life at school, followed by the school holidays. In the concluding paragraphs, there is humour too.

It was Uncle Vernon, still purple-faced, still moustached, still looking furious at the nerve of Harry, carrying an owl in a cage in a station full of ordinary people. Behind him stood Aunt Petunia and Dudley, looking terrified at the very sight of Harry.

'You must be Harry's family!' said Mrs Weasley.

'In a manner of speaking,' said Uncle Vernon. 'Hurry up, boy, we haven't got all day.' He walked away.

Harry hung back for a last word with Ron and Hermoine. 'See you over the summer, then.'

'Hope you have - er - a good holiday,' said Hermoine,looking uncertainly after Uncle Vernon, shocked that anyone could be so unpleasant.

'Oh I will,' said Harry, and they were surprised by the grin that was spreading over his face. 'They don't know we're not allowed to use magic at home. I'm going to have a lot of fun with Dudley this summer......'

Comment: Post an example of a resolution of a narrative. Include a quote or a videoclip. Read other students' posts and comment on 1-2 that you found interesting, explaining why.

Learning Intention: To identify the role of the coda in a narrative.

Success Criteria:

• Find a narrative with a coda.
• Identify its coda.
• Comment on 1-2 comments of other students.

Some narratives are purely entertaining while others might conclude with an important life lesson or moral. Codas are optional. A coda might:

• show how a character has changed and what they have learnt
• be the author's evaluation by concluding with a short comment/reflection on what has happened
• be instructive for readers as they can apply what they have learnt to their own lives
• generally occur at the end of the narrative

Remember "Dustin" in the update about complications. There is a coda at the end about friendship and how working together is better than competing. This shows what the robot has learned and we can also apply the coda to our own lives.

Fairy tales, fables and myths often include a coda. It is the author's evaluation through a short comment/reflection on what has happened. Read Aesop's fable - The Lion and the Mouse

A Lion lay asleep in the forest, his great head resting on his paws. A timid little Mouse came upon him unexpectedly, and in her fright and haste to get away, ran across the Lion's nose. Roused from his nap, the Lion laid his huge paw angrily on the tiny creature to kill her. "Spare me!" begged the poor Mouse. "Please let me go and some day I will surely repay you." The Lion was much amused to think that a Mouse could ever help him. But he was generous and finally let the Mouse go. Some days later, while stalking his prey in the forest, the Lion was caught in the toils of a hunter's net. Unable to free himself, he filled the forest with his angry roaring. The Mouse knew the voice and quickly found the Lion struggling in the net. Running to one of the great ropes that bound him, she gnawed it until it parted, and soon the Lion was free. "You laughed when I said I would repay you," said the Mouse. "Now you see that even a Mouse can help a Lion."

A kindness is never wasted.

Fig. 7: Coda - A kindness is never wasted.

Comment: Find and comment on a coda in a narrative. It could be from any of the narratives that you have posted about before. Describe its message, moral or lesson. Read other students' comments and comment. You could add other morals/lessons/messages that you could see in the narratives that people post about.

Learning Intention: To understand how to make your writing more cohesive.

Success Criteria:

• Read a short narrative and note the underlined text connectives.
• Read about text connectives (signal words).
• Rewrite sentences and paragraphs by changing the text connectives.

Read The Bonfire

When I was a child, cracker night was one my favorite holidays. Well, it used to be until the year that I turned 11 years old. That is a time that I will never forget. In the afternoon, on the day of our planned fireworks, my little brother and I collected firewood and stacked it into a teepee-like shape in the paddock near our house.

Firstly, we collected fallen twigs and branches that were easy to carry. Before long, we had a small pile that we added to with some bigger branches and logs that we dragged to the fire. What's more, we found some old furniture but had to get the old wheelbarrow as we were not strong enough to move them ourselves. After a few hours of carrying and stacking, we stood back to admire our work. We were excited as we thought about the evening ahead, knowing also that it was a special treat to stay up late.

We watched the sun slowly set. Then, it was time! Our mum lit the fire while our dad prepared the fireworks. We watched as the flames grew bigger and bigger. At first, the small twigs burned but as the heat of the flames increased, the old furniture started to burn too. The fire grew bigger and bigger, hotter and hotter. We stared at the flames, totally captivated.

Suddenly, a strong wind swept through the field. Next, the fire went beyond the top of our teepee and two of the nearby trees caught fire. The fire was quickly out of control and we knew we were in danger. We panicked when we saw that our house was in the line of the fire. Our parents wanted to save the house but they knew that the most important thing was to get us all to safety. That’s when we heard a screeching siren in the distance. The fire brigade was on its way.

Later, when the firemen had put out the fire, we could see how close the fire had come to our house. We were all so grateful to them and to our neighbor who had telephoned 000. As a result, we received a talk about fire safety. Whenever I think about this experience, I remember how frightened we were. We didn’t even care that we didn’t light our fireworks. I will never forget this day for as long as I live.

Consequently, Australia Day became our favorite holiday and we would always look forward to watching the fireworks on the lake from the safety of our picnic blankets and deck chairs.

Connectives

Writing cohesively is about organising your text in a logical way that helps a reader to understand it. Text connectives are words that help you to make your writing more cohesive. Text connectives are also called signal words as they provide a signal to the reader about how the text is developing. They also link ideas within a paragraph and also between paragraphs where they can help you to make a transition from one paragraph to another.

Connectives have different purposes:

• Sequencing ideas or showing time
• Adding information
• Clarifying ideas
• Showing cause and effect
• Showing condition/concession

See examples of the different types of text connectives in the "Share" in our community.

In "The Bonfire", the text connectives are mainly used to sequence ideas and show time. There are two that show cause and effect and one adds more information. Can you find them?

Comment: Choose a short paragraph that includes some text connectives from a favourite book (you could also choose a paragraph from "The Bonfire"). In the comment box, write out the paragraph and then rewrite it, selecting different text connectives. What sort of text connectives did you use (sequencing ideas or showing time, adding information, clarifying ideas, showing cause and effect, and/or showing condition/concession). Did the new words change the meaning?

Fig. 8: The Bonfire

Learning Intention: To extend your understanding of narratives by exploring persuasive narratives.

Success Criteria:

• Read a persuasive narrative.
• Comment on one similarity or one difference to narratives and persuasive texts.

Persuasive narratives are narratives that present an argument. They are similar to a coda in some ways (see Update 7), but while the coda generally occurs at the end of a narrative, a persuasive narrative sets out to persuade the reader from its beginning. 

Read through "Passive Emotions" which is an example of a persuasive narrative written by a year 11 student.

PASSIVE EMOTIONS

A story to promote non-smoking

The small lounge-room was completely dark except for a thin strip of dismal, grey light which shone through a gap between the curtains from a street lamp outside. The room was shrouded in smoke, cigarette smoke. It was thickest in the darkest corner of the room. In this corner, sitting in a rocking chair, was a balding, middle aged man.

The few thin strands on his hair lifted in the slight breeze created by a fan standing across the room. His clothes reeked of the foul smelling smoke. His wrinkled face looked as if he was mourning something, or someone, he had cherished. From one of his hands came the dull red glow of a cigarette. He seemed oblivious to the world around him. Lost deep in his mind and memories of a happier past.

A tear trickled simply down his cheek while his eyes were locked on a photograph he was holding in his hand. From the picture a beautiful young bride in a floral dress smiled up at him. She had been his wife and he had loved her like life itself. Two days ago she had died prematurely, and painfully from lung cancer.

“Smoking related,” the doctor had said. Yet she had never smoked once in all her life. She had been a passive smoker.

He remembered how they used to sit together, arms around each other. As he enjoyed his cigarettes she would inhale the smoke he expelled. Throughout their twenty years of happy marriage she had continually, gently lovingly urged him to stop smoking, but all in vain. He had shunned the idea, never listening to her. She had always said smoking was endangering his life. Neither of them had imagined that she was the one whose life was endangered, that her life was under threat. Why hadn't he listened to her? Now she was gone from him forever.

He looked down at the cigarette in his hand and watched the white paper blackening and disappear in smoke. The tiny red glow slowly burning its way towards his fingers, releasing the poisons which had killed her and were probably killing him. He felt the rage and grief well up inside him and focus on the tiny tube of tobacco. Then suddenly, with a violent jab of his hand, he crushed the murderous thing, extinguishing the burning tip, and cursed the day he had first set one of those deadly cigarettes to his lips.

Tim

Fig. 9: The tiny red glow slowly burning its way towards his fingers, releasing the poisons which had killed her and were probably killing him.

Comment: How is "Passive Emotions" the same and different to narratives and persuasive texts/arguments? Add one idea to the comment box (leave some for others to comment on). Explain the element and where appropriate, add an example/short quote. Consider elements such as narrative structure and, narrative techniques, and draw on your prior knowledge of the elements of persuasive texts such as a thesis or point statement and evidence.

Learning Intention: To understand how to use rhetorical devices to make a text more persuasive.

Success Criteria:

• Read and view information about rhetorical devices
• Research other rhetorical devices
• Add a comment and comment on 1-2 comments of other students

Rhetorical devices are language choices (words, phrases, sentences) to persuade an audience to consider alternative perspectives.They are used in persuasive texts, including persuasive narratives. Examples of some rhetorical devices are:

• direct address (you, we, rhetorical questions - questions to emphasise a point - see videoclip below for more)
• modality ( words such as must, should, definitely, positively, certainly),
• repetition for emphasis 
• emotive language to appeal to emotions 
• exciting adjectives
• strong verbs 

"Passive Emotions" is a very persuasive narrative. Look at an excerpt and note the use of four rhetorical devices on one paragraph to persuade the reader about the effects of passive smoking: 

• a rhetorical question - Why hadn't he listened to her?
• repetition for emphasis - endangering/endangered
• emotive language to appeal to emotions - gently lovingly, all in vain, life under threat, gone from him forever
• strong verbs (expelled, urged, shunned)

He remembered how they used to sit together, arms around each other. As he enjoyed his cigarettes she would inhale the smoke he expelled. Throughout their twenty years of happy marriage she had continually, gently lovingly urged him to stop smoking, but all in vain. He had shunned the idea, never listening to her. She had always said smoking was endangering his life. Neither of them had imagined that she was the one whose life was endangered, that her life was under threat. Why hadn't he listened to her? Now she was gone from him forever.

Comment: Six rhetorical devices are discussed in this update. Find an example of one of these six or find another rhetorical device and provide an example from "Passive Emotions" or from a novel or short story that you know. Read other students' comments and comment on 1-2 that you think you might include in your persuasive narrative.

Learning Intention: To understand how lexical chains can create mood in a narrative.

Success Criteria

• Read information about lexical chains
• Rewrite a short excerpt of text
• Comment on 1-2 comments by other students

Look at another excerpt from "Passive Emotions".

The few thin strands on his hair lifted in the slight breeze created by a fan standing across the room. His clothes reeked of the foul smelling smoke. His wrinkled face looked as if he was mourning something, or someone, he had cherished. From one of his hands came the dull red glow of a cigarette. He seemed oblivious to the world around him. Lost deep in his mind and memories of a happier past.

Words such as thin, reeked, foul smelling, wrinkled, mourning, dull, oblivious and lost create a negative mood. These words work together to create lexical cohesion.

Similarly, you can change the mood of a text by selecting words that are positive.

Here is an example:

Negative: The child has a scabby coat of sheepskin to keep out the cold.

Positive: The child has a ruffled coat of sheepskin to keep in the warmth.

Lexical cohesion refers to relationships between and among words in a text. Lexical chains group a series or string of words that connect in some way. There may be more than one lexical chain in a text and writers deliberately use them to create certain effects.

Comment: Take a small section (1 or 2 sentences) of a text and replace words in the lexical chain with synonyms that are more positive or more negative. Write the new sentences in the Comment box and describe how the changes have affected the mood of the text. Read and comment on the sentences of other students and add your thoughts about how the mood is changed by the new sentences.

Fig. 11: Grief

Learning Intention: To provide feedback on the Scholar digital writing course.

Success Criteria:

• Complete and submit the online survey.

You have just participated in the first online extension writing course in Scholar at your school. To evaluate the course, we would welcome you feedback.

Comment: The survey will provide feedback to Rita and to teachers and the executive of your school. You can also post any other general comments to be read by other course participants here.

Fig. 12: Thanks so much!